i am not.

i was watching a show with my little brother yesterday. "Bones", mind you. sometimes all i want to do is watch well dressed men catch bad guys. but yesterdays show, agent(yea..i did just say that) 'Boothe' said something that i actually liked, a lot. as a matter of fact, loved.
"You Aren't Special."
it got me thinking. it's true. we aren't. you aren't. i'm not.
people are so concerned with being special it's like we all revolve around the very word. in schools, we are taught we are special. at home, we are taught we are special. almost anyone would tell you that you are special just to make you feel good or better about yourself. but the truth is, we aren't. i'm not anymore special than any one person on earth with the cruelest heart towards god. i'm not special at all.
i've been thinking about this a lot lately. god didn't choose us because we are smart, or have some great idea that is gonna make the world a better place. and he definitely didn't choose us cause of our good looks or sense of humor. he chose us because of our unloveliness. our cruel hearts.
i finished reading hosea last week. it's one of my favourite stories, and it kind of puts the whole unlovely thing into perspective for me. God told hosea to marry gomer. she was a woman with a past, an unlovely one too. but he married her anyway. she would go astray, and when god told hosea, "go, again, and love that woman" hosea went. he didn't make her pay, he did.
it's just like us. we are the bride of christ. all our burdens, and heartaches, everything ever thought to be so unlovely, god took and made beautiful. he paid for our wicked hearts. that's pretty amazing to think about. what qualifies us is not our loveliness, it's his love that makes us lovely.

i guess the reality is, the only reason that we are special, if at all, is because we are so unlovely. it's important to remember he doesn't need us at all. he brought you to life, he deserves your soul. not the other way around.