jealous for him

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves

We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

And oh, how He loves us
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
how he loves

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how he loves
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

it may be hard

i am discovering joy.
in all things little and sweet and even the hard things.

i have been asking god for direction in my life. what comes next? i find myself impatiently awaiting his answer. "what, lord? what do i do?" but i know the lord is teaching me something different. just knowing, having faith even if it is so so small that god is asking me to wait. just wait.

i can give all things up and stand in awe of my abba.
he is so good to me.

psalms 27:14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

laughing with god.

i like to think most of the time, i'm a pretty decent listener. but when it comes to praying, i'm a conversation hog. sometimes i feel bad that God has to listen to my big mouth. i go from one thought, to the next problem, to yet another thought, and etc. usually i realize my fault, slow down, and listen. he doesn't always talk back. and sometimes, like tonight, it was mostly just me talking. i had lots to say and needed the outlet. but after i realized i had been blabbering on for a good 45 minutes at a rapid pace, i laughed.

i'm sure he laughed too. he has the right to.

he reminded me that he has a plan. my beloved Lord holds me in his hands and he will never let me go. i don't have anything to worry about. psalms 55:22 entered my head,

"Cast thy burden upon the LORD, 
and he shall sustain thee: 
he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."

i'd be silly to forget that. 

and than it was my turn again, but all that came out of my mouth was

thank you.